A lot of bad stuff happens to us, doesn't it?
We get beaten down, stomped on, and then ignored. Either people don't care, or they simply don't listen. We're not given the opportunities we deserve, we aren't recognized, we aren't encouraged.
Or at least, that's what we're led to think.
We're led to think we're oppressed.
We're led to think we're victims.
If our lives were a novel, almost all of us would choose to be the Lizzy Bennets. At the end of our lives, we want to look back and know that we had it together. We had friends, romance, priorities. We worked hard for what we wanted. We want to know we were intelligent, caring, healthy and witty, even more than we want to know we were pretty. And we want to know we did it all ourselves.
I want to be the heroine, and there's nothing wrong with that. Being the heroine's the best part. Even the ones that don't get the happy ending are loved and admired, because they still did everything right.
We make being the heroine our goal. But day to day, we don't really emulate her, do we?
I know most days, I emulate the victim. What about you?
Being the victim is the easiest role. Victims can be selfish. They can be lazy and then complain they don't have what they want. They can be silly, fake, and just plain stupid. Even with all of that, though, some still get the happy ending. But they aren't loved. They aren't admired, or emulated. They don't have fans. But perhaps most importantly, they aren't happy people. They're the Caroline Bingley's, the Miss de Bourgh's, and sometimes even the Kitty's.
But we aren't victims. It's all a lie. I don't care if you HAVE been oppressed, laughed at, not given opportunities, or not listened to, you are NOT a victim. Life is hard. Bad things happen. But we need to make the most of it.
There are people in the world suffering. Many are in terrible situations. My heart goes out to them. I still, however, refuse to let anyone play the victim. No matter how bad things get, we still have the ability to hold our head up and be ourselves, if only in the smallest way possible. Maybe I'm idealistic and romantic, but I don't believe there's ever a good enough reason to 100% give up on yourself.
Being the heroine doesn't mean being perfect. You know the saying, 'the strongest people fight battles we never know about'? For me, being the heroine is being like that. We know we're not perfect, and perfect isn't our goal. Instead, we want to be the strong one. The one who coped when things went wrong, who got back up, and proved she wasn't beaten. A victim will complain. A heroine will quietly carry on.
I positively love this pin on 'Being an Austen Heroine'. I probably should have just given you the link, because it expresses what I'm thinking better than all these paragraphs. It's too long to post the whole thing here, so you better click through. Here, though, are some of my favorites:
-Treasure the people who believe in you.
-When the right thing hurts, do it anyway.
-Be prepared to laugh at yourself (and let others laugh with you).
-Be the right woman.
-Don't worry about your standards being too high.
-Know that friends can become family.
-Greet the world with energy.
Heroine's know that there's only one thing they can control: themselves. When all else is wrong, we can choose where we go from here. Our lives, our dreams, are OURS. I don't want to waste mine playing victim.